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Two words from the Greek are translated in our English as love. There is no effort to distinguish between them and yet, while they both are a form of love they are quite different. The words of course are agape and philo. Without the benefit of a lexicon or an interlinear Bible they are hidden from us. Consider the verses of John 15:9-19, where 7 times love is mentioned. Six out of the seven is agape and philo once. Can you detect where philo is? The doctrine of love is on equal par with faith, in its tremendous importance and necessity to the child of God. So much of our conduct and esteem of God and our fellows is commanded by the word love that it demands our understanding it.
To begin contrasting agape and philo we examine their usages in Scripture.
Agape:
We are commanded to Love God first and foremost, and then to love the brethren, our enemies, our neighbors, and husbands their wives. Anyone missed in this list? This command poses an interesting puzzle for us. Is it possible to order, demand love? Are we created in such a way that we are able to stir up feelings on command? Just how can we do this? If we look at the story of the parable of the Good Samaritan, we have the illustration of loving our neighbor. The Samaritan looked upon a total stranger in need and had pity and compassion on him. This prompted the Samaritan to give help, and respond in goodness. He knew nothing of the man other than he needed help. From this we see there was no emotional attachment between the two, except that of sympathy. This is agape love.
Agape love does not force the sense of having an emotion of affection, fondness or passion. It can be friendless. It is not that emotions or passions are excluded from agape but rather it is possible that we can agape (love) without emotion. There are two terms closely associated with agape - preference and charity. These terms are not all inclusive of agape, but they very much apply.
Preference is preferring. If I say I love my wife, that means that I prefer her above all other women. If I love God, I prefer Him above all else. But in what possible way can I prefer my enemy? Since we are all pretty good people then it must be that our enemies are wicked and evil people. Right? Well, lets just suppose that we are and they are. How can I prefer them over what is good? I cannot. So what is it to preferred about them? Certainly it is not that wicked enemy personally. So if it is not him to be preferred then it must be something about him that I am to prefer. What? Ah, the Good Samaritan now enters. He agaped, loved, the stranger. He did good to him, while the others, priest and Levite, preferred not to do him good and did not have love. The preference is not for the individual, but for the good of the individual. As a matter of fact we don’t even have to like the person we are helping. And God isn’t asking us to like them but to help. We are to look upon all men with a deeper understanding of their need and take pity upon them. Our natural, carnal, flesh nature will not help, but will more likely rejoice over the calamity of our enemy. We can rest assured that anytime we have a carnal joy it is probably sin.
This we can do. We can do good unto them that hate us. Now that is a choice we can make. We are not commanded to consider all people as a friends, but to be friendly to all. Indeed there are many we cannot walk with as friends - we are not to have friendship with the world. Thus the agape preference is that we prefer to do good whenever the occasion arises, regardless of whom it is that needs our help. I am to prefer good to my neighbor rather than hurt him. We are to edify all and destroy none. Has not God and is not God doing the same? When we were yet His enemy, hating Him, He preferred our good and responded to us in that manner.
The next fitting word is charity. Charity is help. We think of it as acts of kindness to those who are in destitute. But more to the meaning is a giving or helping without any sense of recompense, or demand. God’s people are to be charitable people. It is an act of charity to help a man up without any reason except that he has fallen. We have our love without dissimulation and regard not the honor or dishonor of the individual. The giving of charity and doing acts of “good preference” is fulfilling the command “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
The great command is to love (agape) God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Is this love exclusive of feelings, or emotion? Is it an impersonal love, only desiring or preferring what is good for God? Indeed we cannot just summon up an instant emotional response to God other than perhaps that of a deep sense of gratitude. We have to come to love Him with fervent passion. The more we experience God, and His goodness and understanding of Him the more our love increases in tenderness and fervor. It is not that our love is growing, but that we are growing in our love. We should be falling in love with God. Just as faith is a gift from God so is agape. And, too, just as we grow in faith we grow in love. The full measure of faith was given to us at the time of our salvation, as also love. We do not need God to increase our faith or love; we simple need to use what He has given. Faith, hope and love (agape) are tools given to us to use. If we neglect them they become rusty and difficult for the indifferent child of God to use. God certain wants from us our heart, our inner most affection, but only those with a deep appreciation of Him can give it.
Incidentally, if you came from the same school of teaching that I have, you were taught that agape was the divine, godly love, beyond anything natural and only the redeemed have it. Unfortunately, this is not true. A research of agape will show that sinners have this same agape love for one other and things. Men agape the wages unrighteousness (2 Peter 2:15). At the foundation of Agape is preference and charity. All men are capable of agape love, the difference is the object of this love; good or evil.
Philo:
This rich word is not usually understood by us. Philo unlike agape is very much entwined with emotion. The fact is there cannot be philo without feeling or desire. It is generally translated friend or some form of friend, such as “brotherly kindness”, when not rendered as love. The word kiss is from the root word philo.
Here are some usages of philo. First is the seamy side of philo. The Pharisees love to be seen praying in public, men love the upper seats, they love recognition, and some love to have preeminence. In the end men will be lovers of their own selves, lovers of pleasure more than lovers (philo) of God. The world loves its own. The love of money is the root of all evil. On the positive side of philo there is the love of family i.e. mother, father etc., specifically mentioned, men are to love (philo) their wives and children. The children of God are to continually love one another with the same love of family, and by love serve one another.
God also has this philo love and it seems to have an order to it. It begins with love of God our Savior toward man, appearing, bringing salvation to men (Titus 3:3-4). The Father loves the Son, and loves the disciples because they loved the Son and have believed (have their faith) that He came out of the Father (both loves are philo)(John 16:27). But as many as He loves He rebukes and chastens (Rev. 3:19). The references describe an increasing intensity of God’s cherishing love of men by their response to Him.
All of the references just given are philo and not agape. Never do we see a command to philo God. It is not because He does not desire it, but He wants it to be voluntary. He has earned our friendship and it is due Him. This comes about with getting to know Him, and having experienced Him.
I wish to present what may be to you a startling fact of philo. I Cor. 16:22, “If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranath.” The simple definition of Anathema is accursed. But it also describes the detail of separation or excommunicated. Now the most tempting interpretation of this verse is to say that those who are not friends of God are lost and condemned to destruction. The less appealing interpretation is that if God’s children are not friends to Him, do not cherish Him, then they are accursed, separated from Him. God’s children being separated from Him is not new, for if we walk in darkness we are separated from His fellowship (1 John 1:6). So this should not shock us or be a new concept. This verse brings forth a superiority of Philo above that of Agape. The highest plane of love is not agape, but philo which is profound in its substance and compulsion of the heart.
Agape and Philo Together:
The duty of man is to agape God, but his responsibility is to philo Him. Saints need to consider Jesus as a friend of theirs. To talk to Him as a friend, be interested in Him as a friend, care for Him as a friend; treat Him as a friend, having a consideration for His feelings. Alas, we relish the thought of Jesus is my friend with little regard of reciprocation. We sing, “What a friend is Jesus,” can He sing the same of us? Are we so self-centered that all we can think of is ourselves and what He gives us and think nothing of what we give Him? I would not say that God can be broken hearted but He can be disappointed in unrequited love. Is it noticed and noted by God those who have the tenderness of loving feelings to Him.
Our love to God is to be both agape and philo. Both are about preferring Him to the world, before all others, before all pleasures, and even before our own selves. Set your heart intensely on Him. God bless you.
Wm. Bekgaard
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Next: Hope
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This page last updated November 19, 2004 at 10:21am
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